Healthier Stay

Start With an Ember

Posted in Blog Gallery,Newer Posts by Healthier Stay on November 28, 2014
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Submitted for the #ChronicallyAwesome Foundation and #Blogsupport’s #WordFeast Blog Carnival: Happy Thanksgiving!

So many things happen when a person gets sick; so many emotions, transitions and alterations to his/her life. I know this first hand, as a patient, patient’s family member and as a caregiver. I also know that the first things that come to mind in that time are terrible and despairing thoughts that just take up lodging in our heads. It can take time {months, years…decades} to see the blessings that can come from an illness too. Nothing is more important than finding the light in the dark cave. Sometimes the light is just an ember and the cave is miles deep, but there is always a coal. Once I found my ember I was able to tend it and start a fire that helps keep me warm and safe in the dark maw that is my cave of illness. The fire is so damn big these days that I can rotisserie a twenty pound turkey with it!

Find the light in the darkness.

Find the light in the darkness.

When I was first diagnosed I was hopeful for the future still, but once I started getting worse I started to slip into depression. I wasn’t able to do much and I was housebound. My days started running together, wake up watch tv sleep wake up watch tv sleep eat sleep watch tv etc., etc., and so on and so on. I had no routine and I felt aimless and like I didn’t fit into society anymore.

While all of this was happening my Dad was very sick with his Crohn’s, we didn’t know that he was dying. My mother and I were taking shifts for his round the clock care. It was a very hard time and he could have been miserable but he always had a smile for everyone. His outlook was amazing and it was contagious. He passed me an ember.

I realized that life was more than illness and that I still had gifts and talents to share with the world. I started writing a book about my experiences, I found Chronically Awesome and Jules gave me the opportunity to start blogging for her. I took back my life and I love it now. I still have constant pain and problems but they don’t plague me now. I have spent the last two and a half years on “Project Donna” and have been working on making my mind and body as strong as it can be despite my illness. All of this has raised my self-confidence to higher levels than even my healthy self had known. I know it has helped my friendships, my doctor relationships and my romantic life.

I’m always trying to get stronger and I still have a¬†ways to go but I know that I wouldn’t have the chance to be a writer, a podcast host or an advocate if I hadn’t had to go through all of the pain. It’s not the life I planned but it’s the life I live and I want to be my best.

I hope that this post can help someone who is stuck in their own limbo, you can find more in life than pain. I’m passing this ember on, feel the warmth, find your light and pass it on.

Pass it on.

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